"Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement; nothing can be done without hope and confidence."
~Helen Keller


Living "carpe diem"

How do authors wrap up the endings to their stories? Were they thinking of the end the entire time and then shaped the story around it? What made them decide their final scene? As the author of this blog, I was never truly in search of my end. I was never shaping my stories based on my final scene. I lived in the moment. I lived life. I lived carpe diem.

So how can I, the author, sum up my nine months in Spain? Can a pregnant mother sum up her nine months of pregnancy? Of course not. The mother is of course enchanted with life as a new life is being born. As was I during my nine months for a new life was being born to myself.  A life was being unraveled and unspun before me. At times I held on for dear sake just as I would when climbing the roller coaster before the great drop for the fear of the unknown. And other times I let go just to feel the wild and powerful sensation of Life guiding me through her steps. Thus, I suppose you could say that Spain taught me to grow up. It taught me to be an adult. To trust in others. To believe in myself.

With such conclusions, the days of packing up my things to return to the United States were some of the hardest moments I have ever endured. The quiet moments in my room made me realize how much I have grown and only made me want to unpack my things again. Spending my last night with friends made me realize how precious friendship is and caused me to doubt my decision making.  My bus ride to Madrid and my night in my hotel alone made me sick to my stomach knowing that it may be several years before I see the country again. My four hour delay in the airport even made me wonder if Fate was trying to hint to me that I was meant to stay and not leave.   

My doubt lasted until my final destination at the Minneapolis International Airport. How can someone doubt her decision when she sees the look on her mother’s face as she comes down the escalator? How can someone second guess when her father welcomes her home with a hug? How can someone be uncertain when her 88 year-old grandmother hugs her and thanks her for coming home? That someone cannot doubt nor second guess their decision for that someone is now home.

Home it is then and home it shall be for awhile. Like the sands of time, this story has come to an end as I will begin my first year teaching in a new city and new state for next fall. However, just like the sands of time, all I need to do is flip the glass jar over to begin the sands again for yet another story. So what sort of ending do I leave you all with? I leave you with none. From here on, I refuse to think of my ending as a part of my story. My story lives in the present. Whenever I need to, I will refer to the sands of time to begin another story. Therefore, I will live in the moment. I will live life. And whatever may come of it, I will be sure to tell the rest of the story of how I live carpe diem. Until next time,  I thank you all for your support in reading my stories from the last nine months.